Anger is a powerful and often misunderstood emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It can be triggered by a variety of factors, but at its core, it usually stems from unmet desires or expectations. In this blog, we will delve into the different aspects of anger, its various forms, and most importantly, how to effectively manage and heal this intense emotion.
The Root of Anger: Anger typically arises when we desire something fervently, whether it’s a material possession like a dress, car, or house, or something less tangible like the way we want our personal or professional relationships to unfold. When these desires are not met, frustration sets in, and anger follows suit. It’s a natural human response to disappointment and unmet expectations.
The Many Faces of Anger: Anger manifests itself in different forms, and it’s essential to recognize them:
- Expressed Anger: This is when we outwardly express our anger. It can range from mild irritation to uncontrolled rage. In extreme cases, it can lead to harmful actions or words that we later regret.
- Resentment: Sometimes, anger doesn’t find an immediate outlet, and it simmers beneath the surface. Resentment is like holding onto a hot coal, burning us from within. We blame circumstances, others, or even fate for our unfulfilled desires.
How we deal with anger varies from person to person.
- Expression: Some people may prefer to just vent out the anger by throwing it up. But it could lead to feelings of guilt, and also uncontrolled bouts of anger. And this can become a habit. The expressions could also be violent at times.
- Suppression: Some individuals suppress their anger, often due to an inability to communicate their feelings effectively. This may appear as tolerance, but it can lead to inner turmoil, depression, and festering resentment.
- Processing: Processing anger involves repeatedly talking to oneself in an attempt to overcome it. However, this often results in justifying the anger rather than resolving it.
- Tolerance: The most effective way to manage anger is to tolerate it. This involves observing ourselves from an external perspective, detaching from the situation, and introspecting. It requires practice and daily self-reflection.
Difference between suppression and tolerance: There is a gulf of difference between tolerating anger and supressing it. When we suppress the anger, it stays within us and can take forms like resentment, constant mental arguments, desires to take revenge, feelings of envy etc. However, tolerance does not lead to any of these emotions. After tolerating anger one is at peace and can expereince feelings of calmness and serenity
A Healing Journey: To cultivate the ability to tolerate anger and heal it effectively, consider the following daily practice:
- Find an undisturbed place and unplug from distractions.
- Close your eyes and take deep breaths to center yourself.
- Ask yourself two questions: a. What am I feeling good about today? Name the positive emotion and write it down. b. What am I feeling that I should not be feeling? Name the uncomfortable emotion and write it down.
This simple practice helps you identify, analyze, and accept your emotions. It allows you to recognize the need for healing and take appropriate steps.
The Role of Bach Flower Therapy: In the journey of healing emotions like anger, envy, and jealousy, Bach Flower Therapy can be a valuable ally. This natural therapy uses flower essences to address emotional imbalances, restoring harmony and inner peace. It has shown excellent results in helping individuals manage and heal their anger
Anger is a universal emotion that we all encounter in our lives. Understanding its origins, recognizing its forms, and adopting healthy coping mechanisms are essential steps toward managing and ultimately healing anger. By practicing daily self-reflection and exploring therapies like Bach Flower Therapy, we can navigate our anger and cultivate emotional well-being. Remember, managing anger is a journey, and with patience and persistence, it is one that can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.